I have learned that having a teenager and ....girls, that arguing often gets nowhere fast. I have also learned, more specifically, that allowing my kids to make choices they might regret helps them learn. Teenagers and....girls in general.... oftentimes like to give lip.They want you to know they can have control and it's useless to argue. For instance, my youngest daughter,aged 7, is
hard-headed and found oftentimes more than not,in a "hissy" over those small minute things most others might find a way of ignoring. Her bed may not be made right if her sister does it, so she throws a fit. But also, she could be in a mood where she doesn't want to make the bed herself. There are times that arguing or sending her to her room until it's made to her liking doesn't do a thing. She's stubborn and will hold out for as long as she can. Letting her cry it out helps some but if she's in a particular mood,she will calm down just long enough to come convince me why she's right, and it could very well start all over. This is where I have learned to let her sleep on a messy, toy-covered bed that night and let her wake up with aches and marks on her face a toy made. I have become surprised when she makes her bed happily that morning after breakfast. So Red definitely has something there, especially pertaining to the discipline of children. They learn their choices might be wrong by letting them go ahead and make them. But do we keep on letting them make the same one, over and over again, not realizing their fault? When is it time to step in and 'say enough is enough,' even for, or especially for, those hard-headed ones?